Seven from Seven (part 3)

Seven from Seven (part 3)

If you missed parts 1 & 2 and are wondering what this is all about you can read them here and here. Basically in the year that Lucy and I are celebrating seven years of marriage I’m sharing seven things we’ve learned in those years. Not to brag, not to show off, not to pretend we’re perfect, just to talk about some things that have helped us and that will help to build our marriage further in the years to come. I’ve broken it into 7 parts so it’s not too much to read at any one time. Parts 1 and 2 were on Sunday and Monday, here’s part 3, and parts 4-7 will follow over the next few nights.

The first lesson was: we’re not perfect and that we shouldn’t expect too much of each other.

The second lesson was: we’re not God.

The third lesson is: we’ve learnt not to go to bed angry. Ephesians 4:26-27 says this: “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” We’ve learnt to do whatever it takes to at least begin solving a quarrel before we shut our eyes. It might not be fully fixed, but you’ve got to make a start, talk about it, apologise. You don’t want to wake up with a wall of issues between you. That’s when the devil gains his foothold. Mornings are busy, you have to get going, so it’s all too easy to rush on and forget the issue at hand. It then gets buried under the busyness of life, and never dealt with. And what does the devil do with his foothold? He builds on it, pushing to gain more and more territory in your life. An unresolved dispute festers, gnawing at those involved and growing larger in their minds than it should be. It could be the hidden thing that causes you to snap or suddenly respond with anger to something trivial later. Left too long, it might even cause you to drift apart and endanger your marriage. No, this is not how it should be. Issues need to be brought out into the open. That requires vulnerability and trust; it requires a willingness to have difficult conversations. But that discomfort is short-term compared to the damage of harboured resentment or bitterness.

Come back tomorrow for part 4…

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