Seven from Seven (part 2)

Seven from Seven (part 2)

If you missed part 1 and are wondering what this is all about you can read it here. Basically in the year that Lucy and I are celebrating seven years of marriage I’m sharing seven things we’ve learned in those years. Not to brag, not to show off, not to pretend we’re perfect, just to talk about some things that have helped us and that will help to build our marriage further in the years to come. I’ve broken it into 7 parts so it’s not too much to read at any one time. Part 1 was on Sunday, here’s part 2, and parts 3-7 will follow every night this week.

The first lesson was: we’ve learnt that we’re not perfect and that we shouldn’t expect too much of each other.

The second is: we’ve learnt that we’re not God. I know – hold the front page. And yes, probably something we ought to have known already, but what I mean is this: we’ve learned that we can’t replace the role of God in our spouse’s life. We can’t be everything to them and we shouldn’t try. There’s a long list of things that only God can do. Partly this goes back to my first point about not expecting each other to be perfect, but partly it also shows the importance of quality time with God individually as well as together. The truth is that God is more important than our marriage. My relationship with Him takes priority over my relationship with Lucy, and the same is true in reverse. If it’s the other way round then marriage becomes an idol and things are out of kilter. If our fulfilment and self-worth and identity are invested solely in another person, then we’re setting ourselves up to fail and putting intolerable pressure on that person. Actually, God is a much wiser choice when seeking those things, because His resources are limitless, and He won’t disappoint your hopes. And the best bit is this: when you put God first, far from suffering your marriage actually benefits.

Come back tomorrow for part 3.

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